My Netflix Habit

Having a somewhat mundane life, except for the occasional cat crisis, I was at a loss as to what might be an interesting topic to write about for my blog when my daughter commented that she was surprised I’d have time to write at all, given my recently acquired Netflix habit. She suggested it might make an interesting, possibly even therapeutic topic. Well, let’s give it a go and see.

Obsession. It’s an emotion. It’s an act. It’s a perfume. It’s what I have apparently developed for my Netflix streaming video.

I’ve been a regular customer of my local video store for years. I’ve handed over my fortune in late fees there, since I am habitually late in returning movies. My business was quite lucrative for them until I discovered the joy of Netflix. No late fees. No “return-by” date. Endless selection. My video store has suffered the loss. They even sent me a ‘we’ve missed you lately’ card. Apparently, one of them was putting her child through Montessori school with my late fees. She misses me.

Did you know that Netflix has streaming video? Last time the techie daughter was in town, I enlisted her to install a wireless router and teach my Wii console to talk to it. (Requires free CD from Netflix.) Voila! I have at my fingertips, any time day or night, an entire host of movies, documentaries, and television series for my video pleasure.

Now, normally I am not really that much of a videophile. But as I browsed the selections I could feel my temperature rising, my pulse quickening, and my button finger itching to start something. This was video Nirvana! Everything from a PBS special on Thomas Jefferson to 1940’s Bogart movie! My pupils dilated. My breath caught in my throat. For a moment, I felt that delicious feeling one gets when realizing they are in love and the object of that love is right there in front of them.

I started with the short-lived series Firefly. I’d never seen it, but I love sci-fi. That was three weeks ago. I started at 4:00 p.m. and didn’t finish all fourteen episodes until about 4:00 a.m. I almost missed church because four hours of sleep is really not enough for anyone to go about their normal day. When I got home from church, I saw that they’d started a new series based on Firefly called Serenity. With soda and remote in hand, I settled in. Monday morning, I was late for work as I dragged in with a paltry four hours of sleep, sad that I’d just finished the very last episode of that wonderful sci-fi series.

The addiction had begun. Every evening, I rushed home to heat up leftovers, change into comfy clothes, and…oh, sweet bliss…settle down with my Wii controller and my darling Netflix. I watched a couple of movies. Saw the entire first two seasons of Lie to Me. My daughter called. I mumbled my way through the conversation, letting her do most of the talking. “Yeah, right. Glad you got that new job. That’s great..sure…no, not busy. Just listening to you…I AM paying attention.. yes, really...okay, bye then.” Aaah, push the button. Where were we then? The Doctor and Rose had just landed in a new world five billion years into the future……

My mother called. I decided I’d call her back after The Doctor escaped his predicament with the Daleks. Season 1 done. Is there a season 2 on Netflix? Indeed there is! Oh, boy, oh boy! I went shopping on the website and added 54 series and movies to my instant queue. Sweaty palms, red-rimmed eyes. Four seasons of Doctor Who! And now, oh sweet mystery of life! There’s 24 – three seasons of it!!

Sometime last week I think someone invited me out for something. But I can’t really remember now. The days are just little interludes at the office until I can get home and repeat that joyous routine that brings me back into the world of The Doctor, Jack, the folks at Torchwood, Spencer and Bogie….the characters are endless. I haven’t left the house in days.

Then it happened. I was involved in episode 4 of season 3 and Rose was just turned into a faceless, mindless being by the television on the day of Queen Elizabeth’s coronation when I realized that I too had become a mindless, faceless being because of my TV. When did I eat last? What was it – how old was it and did I even cook it first? Shower? Hmmm… I know it had one on Thursday before work. But since then? How many times has the phone rung at my house in the last two days and did I pick it up even once? I realized with shock and sadness that I’m obsessed. And I don’t mean the perfume!

So I put down the remote and walked away from the TV. I took a shower and made dinner. I returned phone calls and checked the weather outside, all the while, avoiding eye contact with that beast in the corner, refusing to listen to its beckoning voice. I read a book – an entire book – and never even turned on the TV for background noise. So far the 12 step recovery program was working. Step 1 – acknowledge the problem. Step 2 – acknowledge my powerlessness against it. Step 3 – choose to eliminate it from my life. Step 4….

And it is about there that I backslid. It was going pretty well. I thought I could handle it, so I turned it on just long enough to see the Today show. Then I heard the voice. “Yoooohhoooo”, it called. “I’m waiting. Pick up the remote. Just one show. Just 45 minutes before you go back to your life.” Soft, eager, willing…. How could I resist its call? Somewhere out there in videoland the Cybermen were attacking Great Britain and the president needed Jack for an urgent mission in New York. I had to be there!

I went to bed at 4:00 a.m. this morning and awoke just before 9 – in time for coffee with my Netflix. You may call my house today. But I will be unavailable. Leave a message and I’ll give you a quick between-show call if it’s an emergency that needs my immediate attention. You may see me walking and talking in front of you tomorrow or the next day. But that will only be the surrogate I send out in my stead, (you saw that movie, didn’t you?) who looks and talks like me, but is only a representative meant to obscure my real location and identity. Just smile and don’t comment on the dishevelment and glazed look. School starts in two weeks and I will of necessity relinquish my new obsession. Meanwhile, I have two more weeks of summer, two more weeks to find out why they keep switching the guy who plays Dr. Who and why the people on the island are Lost. Then it’s back to step 1. See you then.